its 1.30 late silent night. no one is home. ma went jb and jie at bf place.

tomorro duty in camp. need to reach at 8. so need wake up at 6.

lifehas been simple. start with the day we qurrel.

when i went up my place. i sleep and sleep. basically just sleep.
wake up at 8. felt sightly better. mood more stable. but don
think ur in mood to talk.

mon
rot at home and not feeling well. diarrea, tummy ach. sleep
again. feel so restless till 7 plus. u still don wan to come. decide to
go ah to see doc. doc see and give med, did't give mc. no appitite.

tues to fri
work work. feel like crap. no mc so see mo. also no mc, but att b.
feel like crap still gatta work. keep workin, don wan to think too much.
know when thoughts sink in. the feeling will hurt like hell. tired my self
and knock out.

fri is comming, hope to meet u grew greater. till afternoon cannot help it
called u but no reply. struggle between to let go or not fight. i decide to
take it easy. i have no more right to fight for what i wan. i admit all i give
is hurt. i'm unstable. blow anytime.

mouth got 2 ulcer. pain liek hell. guess did;t drink much water.

see councellor le. when talking about pa, can feel i still feel sour.
than she do the genogram realise i have no one to anchor my
emotion to but u. than maybe its errickson theory, trust vs mistrust
thats y i don really trust people, have problem sharing and getting
together. next appointment will be 2 jan. i'm lookin forward for it.

what u said today is real hurting. i really have no right to comment.
thou what u said i don believe, but it does give those disgusting feeling.
its not nice. i'm learning to let go. guess so are u.

i only have ur pillow. thats my greatest assect.

i'm in fear too. fearing to hurt u. but miss u at the same time.

today last chance to meet but unable to catch it.

well fate ba. tomorro will go back camp. monday feild camp till fri.

will not have chance to see ur reply if there is any.

i'll wait for ur reply and wait for u.